Letter to my child

in late June 2018, I wrote this letter to my child. As his birthday approaches, I want to share it with you all. The words resonate louder now and there is beuaty and sorrow in the passage of time.

Para Rafael

Out of all the possibilities in the world you chose us to be your parents. You made this journey to our lives knowing how imperfect and flawed we are. You came to us in this time to teach and learn, to shine love and make love grow. We have given you a name but is up to you to give it meaning. I can promise you today that you will never be alone, I will always love you and will put my imperfect, flawed self out in the world to live up to the values we will teach you as a family. I will check my assumptions and my judgements to assure I am not impeding you to explore who you are and what you want to become. I will fail. I will say words that you don’t want to hear and I I’ll try to be kind with myself when this happens. Just because you chose me as your dad, it does not mean I will always be right and things will happen as I wish. It means that you will have a safe haven when you need to heal your body and your soul, that you will have someone who dreams with you, who holds your hand when you want to and let you go when you are ready, even if I am not. Am I ever going to be ready for that? I am still waiting to meet you and I already feel sad to think that one day you will find your own path in this world. 

It means my child, that I will devote my time and energy to know you, to understand you, to take care of you. I will take time to love your mom, to understand her and to care for her every day. It means that I will take care of myself, love who I am and what I have become as you give me a new name. 

Life is not always going to be what you expect. The beauty of it is that it will always bring you more than you wish for, that you dreamed of, that you hope for. As long as your heart beats by the beat of social justice and you breath the passion to make the world a better, imperfect place, you will be okay. And when you feel that you have no energy left, we will teach you to rest. When you think that there is no way, we will help you find an exit and if we can get out of it, we will be there, next to you, by your side, always. 

You are the expression of love made flesh. Through your veins flows the power of hundreds of years of history. Of two cultures, two languages and memories of places that we will teach you to love. We will challenge you, we will make you try new food and share with others. We will learn about things we don’t like because they make you smile. You will hate things about me that one day you will miss dearly. I will always remember how you smell and you will do the same. One day you will start to wear my clothes and I will try your cool sneakers. 

You are giving us the gift of dreaming, of learning, of being children again and there are no words to describe how beautiful this gift is. Thank you. 

My dear child. We are in this together. Always, always together